This message is strictly intended for cute people only.Since you accidentally received it, there must be a technical error for which I deeply apologize.
Laughter is a great mental tonic. It can dispel anxiety, help manage stress, depression, fear and worry. But please, don't laugh alone. Coz there is no medicine for that! Good day!
An elephant asked the camel, "Is that your boobs on your back?" The camel laughed and replied, "What a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face."
Text won't flow, everyone knows, when the load fades away. Text will die, and tears in your eyes, you've got to throw your phone up high! Yeah.. yeah. Throw your phone up high!
Life is full of rewards. If you eat properly, exercise and take good care of yourself for 60 years... what is your reward? A senior citizen card! 20% discount. =)
Quotes to live by: 1. Birds of the same feather are the same birds; 2. Do not do unto others what you can't do; 3. an apple a day is not an apple at night; 4. When the cat is away, the mouse is alone; 5. if others can do it, don't help; 6. tell me who you're friends are and i'll tell you mine; 7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon;
A little bird was flying in winter. The bird froze and fell into the ground. A cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird. Bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing, dig him out and ate him! Lessons to be learned from the story: 1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy; 2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and 3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! =)
I'm praying that our friendship will never come to an end. I'm wishing that it will last until you can see an apple in an orange tree on the 30th day of february. =)
Normal is boring! Paranormal is shocking! Criminal is horrifying! Homosexual is bading! And now, the abnormal is reading!!
70 million people are having sex right now! 40 million are planning to have sex. 30 million are dreaming of it and one expert is busy reading this message! =)
Promise me we are true friends. You are the roof, I am the ground. You are the floor, I am the tiles. You are the sun, I am the rays. I am the tree, you are the monkey.
As I watched the ants crawl upon the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate. I hope, we could be like the ants, we could walk on the walls!
KISS is purely organic and naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients and is 100% wholesome...Here's one for you...MMWAAAH! Have a nice day!
Judge: Why did you kill your husband? Wife: He fetched me from the office, took me to bedroom, removed my clothes, laid me on the bed, spread my legs and said... "joke, joke, joke!"
Da Vinci... Da Vinci Winchi spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out!
Source: Funny English Text Messages Filtered Out From Textmates 1 - 170
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